The Prison of Black Patriarchal Masculinity

By Derrick L. McMahon, Jr.

As a black man living in the United States, I know all too well the prison that Black Patriarchal Masculinity can be. Growing up, the cell that I was placed in was small and rigid, a place for conformity rather than creativity. My masculinity was policed at almost every turn. My wrists were too limp I was told. My walk was not boyish enough I was told. And my interests were in all the wrong places: dolls and balls as opposed to just dolls.

What brings me to the topic of black patriarchal masculinity is a chance encounter I had the opportunity to witness. A black male was walking by and I overheard a young Hispanic girl, no more than 12 years old, remark that he “walked like a girl.” As I heard the young girl utter that the black man “walked like a girl,” something in my mind went off. I began to think about what black masculinity was in the society I live in. What about the black man walking by made the young girl feel he was crossing some threshold of masculine acceptability? What had made a young girl, a Hispanic one at that, recognize something in that black man that went against whatever she had been taught in her own community and society?

The prevailing narrative of black masculinity in this society seems to be predicated on a few things. Black men are to be full of rage and always apt to commit violent crimes. We’re supposed to be hyper masculine and hyper sexual; willing to fuck anything and be the carrier of superhuman sexual abilities. Also, due to our race, it seems, we are supposed to embody an idealized version of masculinity. Both the dominant culture and many blacks themselves have internalized this false notion of black men embodying a “true” definition of masculinity.

There seems to be an endless barrage of black men depicted in the media as fitting into the narrow narratives constructed around black masculinity. Incidents of crime are reported on frequently, remarking on the latest black man to kill, maim, or rape someone. Sports and music provide the perfect backdrop for introducing the narrative that black males are hyper masculine and hyper sexual. Videos by popular artists populate mass media wherein black men brag about their sexual prowess and their heightened masculinity. The black man is conditioned to believe that he embodies the very best of patriarchal masculinity, and that this is a virtue.

That an eleven year old girl could recognize a random black man as embodying something that she had been taught to pinpoint, to see as an anomaly, was striking to me. It is a testament to the fact that our children are being conditioned from a very early age to police the gender of themselves and others. What business does an eleven year old need with policing gender? Adolescence is, and should be, a time of much experimentation and exploration, not the site of rigidity and policing. That this young girl was a member of a different racial group indicates that patriarchal black masculinity is being communicated to other communities. It’s not unusual to meet someone of another group who is surprised or disappointed that a particular black man does not embody a particular masculine ideal. When I tell people that I don’t play football or basketball, and that I don’t have a bad chick by my side, they seem let down. I’ve destroyed some illusion of black masculinity and manhood that they had harbored.

Masculinity, in my opinion, should be a site for creativity and diversity. No black man should be forced into a prison of rigidity by a society expecting his masculinity to be one dimensional and one note. As a black man who is an advocate of feminism, I know that I have a responsibility to make my masculinity a site of resistance. I make sure that my thoughts and actions promote a view of black masculinity that is rooted in a respect for femininity, and anchored in a multifaceted harbor.

It is imperative for black men to fight for our right to be free of the prison of black patriarchal masculinity. We are more than rage, anger, violence, and sexual conquest. Our masculinity, much like we are, is and has always been diverse. We must make room in our cell for a diverse black masculinity.

The future of black masculinity lies in its ability to break free of the prison cell it has been forced to reside in. Black masculinity must seek out a wide open field where diversity and creativity is celebrated and fostered. We must resist those who insist on our singularity as black men. The prison cell that is patriarchal masculinity must no longer be the site where black masculinity resides.

Derrick L. McMahon Jr. has a Bachelor of Science in History from Florida A&M University. His blog is the antiintellect

Discretion: The "DL" Problem

By Dexter Smith

The "Down-Low". A uniquely African-American slang term used in reference to an insidious subculture of deeply closeted African-American homosexual and/or bisexual men who, while carrying on their normal, day-to-day, public lives as heterosexual men, simultaneously lead secret lives engaged in sexual relations with other men. The meaning of the term, however, has expanded over the years to include all closeted African-American gay and/or bisexual men. Originally the typical "DL" man identified as "straight" despite his same sex attractions and liaisons. Today, many "DL" men accept that they are either homosexual or bisexual despite what they may tell the rest of the world.

Defined by its "cult of masculinity", the "DL" lifestyle shuns the traditional trappings of LGBT culture for secrecy and discretion. Many "DL" men are deluded into believing that they can somehow remain in the closet forever, carrying on a double life in secrecy for as long as they like. This of course seldom, if ever, works. These things invariably have a way of being exposed eventually. The "DL" lifestyle itself is symptomatic of the shame, fear, and ignorance that plague the African-American LGBT community. The African-American community itself, overwhelmingly Christian and therefore bound hopelessly to patriarchal beliefs and behavior, is not very welcoming to homosexuality.

The struggle to "come out of the closet" is nothing new. It is a transition that every gay and or bisexual person, African-American or otherwise, will have to experience. However, there is something different about the experience in the African-American community. It seems that heterosexism is even more densely concentrated amongst black people than it is amongst our white counterparts. We're deeply mired in a cult of hetero-normativity, devoted to a fallacy constructed by patriarchy. So much so that we've produced this dangerous "DL" subculture. A factor which has helped turn the African-American LGBT community into this backwards satellite of the wider mainstream LGBT community.

A friend once told me that sexuality is a "private thing”. That it was ok to be in the closet or "DL" because no one needed to know your sexual orientation. Especially since, as he saw it, being gay made things harder. The notion is not entirely without merit but it sets an unfair double standard. Why should my sexuality be private? After all, if you approached a heterosexual male or female and asked "Are you straight?” chances are they will respond honestly. If my sexuality is private, am I supposed to lie? Why should I advance heterosexism by keeping my sexuality "private"? After all, unless I indicate otherwise, most people would automatically assume that I'm heterosexual. I don't want that. If you're not free to be who you are then exactly how free are you?

Besides, how exactly are we to dispel the negative myths and stereotypes, eradicate the stigma and ignorance, and achieve equality by hiding? If we act like we have something to be ashamed of, people will treat us like we have something to be ashamed of. We must abandon the false notion that heterosexuality is superior. This is, in itself, the very root of many or our problems.

The plight of LGBT people has come a long way since June 28, 1969, when those brave pioneers of the gay rights movement stood up to this country’s institutionalized oppression of sexual minorities. On December 18, 2010, the discriminatory "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy which prohibited gays and lesbians from serving openly in the U.S. armed forces was repealed. American society has become very open, welcoming and tolerant, and with each year that passes the excuses for hiding dwindle in number and significance. Its 2011 and you're still so called on the "DL"? Excuse my use of common black vernacular but "Nigga please!” That is so last year.

I'm not hiding. I'm proud, I'm happy, and I'm free. Thank You.

Dexter Smith is a sophomore Political Science major at Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia.